Insomniac

I was sweating profusely, breathing heavily and was having a double vision... I was in the world in between sleep and the real world where nothing seems real... It seemed like the world was stand still in front of my eyes, even the faintest of sounds echoed in my ears, the minutest of the smells got to my nose and yet my body dint feel in control of itself... Even the smallest of the movements required a huge effort...

It was the same feeling everyday or rather every night... I was suffering from something that they call insomnia... It was 5 days since i had slept last and was feeling lost in my own world with sleepless nights... The first couple of nights were easy to pass as i would watch a movie and pass my time till day break, with the growing lack sleep it started to become difficult... The sweating increased my heart beat felt like it would go away any minute...

Every night i would lie down and make an effort to sleep but then the effort to sleep made it difficult to sleep... I would sit soaked in my own sweat thinking why I couldnt sleep... Was it some sin i had commited, was I possesed, is it some neurological problem???

So after 5 days of sleeplessness I decided to do something about it, so as per the advice given by my mom i thought let me try Yoga and meditation... She asked me to lie down flat on my back with my hands and legs fully spread out and not folded and i would feel sleepy soon... I started laughing at my mom and said "Mom that wont work, I will try something else"...

So there i went for another couple of days trying things in vain and spent sleepless nights trying to sleep... Whoever said try try till you succeed dint include sleeping in it... The count was now 8 days without sleep, also i read somewhere that 10 days without sleep could kill a person and desperation crept through after that...

So after much contemplation i decided to try my moms advice and lie down how she asked me to lie down... Thats when i realised what was wrong and why i couldnt sleep... While i was lying to flat on my back a sinister and evil smirk came onto me... One part of me was thinking how stupid of me the other part was thinking finally found the reason...

So i got up switched on the FAN and slept like a baby after almost 8 days of sleeplessness...

Moral of the story: Moms always have the right answer to everything... :)

Aasra - The Birth

A woman is born twice once when she is born and then once when she gives birth, these were the last words that were ringing in Pooja's ears as the doctors took her into the Operation theater... Rajiv stood at the door way helpless with blood all over his hands as they carried Pooja on a gurney, her shrieks of screams that sent a chill under Rajiv's spine... He was helpless, he could do nothing but wait...

It was not a regular pregnancy for the couple... Right from the start when the baby were diagnosed with Hemolytic disease of the newborn (HDN)... Initial sensitization dint help Pooja and the baby... It was never easy for Rajiv to look at the pain and trouble Pooja went through for the baby... The doctor never really gave more than a 50% chance for both the baby and the mother to survive the pregnancy...But then Pooja was persistent and stubborn and wanted the child... So they went ahead with a lot of care...

He was in a state of shock as the doctor called him... Rajiv sank back even more as doctor spoke those dreadful words... You know the situation we are in... We are trying our best to save both the child and the mother but we need to know if you would like to have the mother or the baby... This was one decision that he never wanted to make, one choice that he never wanted to take...

The doctor disappeared inside the the operation theater after hearing to what Rajiv had to say and taking his signature on the consent form... The only thing that kept him company throughout was the thought of Pooja's smile... How she had changed his life totally... Rajiv couldn't afford to loose the one woman he loved more than anyone... He knew he had made the right decision... He knew he had taken the right choice...

As Rajiv waited through those painful hours sitting and praying... While suddenly another shriek of scream shuddered the silence of the hospital and brought Rajiv back from his trance... This scream was more of a cry and a more subtle one more like a baby's... Rajiv walked those heavy steps to the door as the doctor made his way to the door herself from the inside covered from head to toe with blood...

Rajiv dint wanna hear this... He was not ready to hear those dreadful words but it was Pooja's decision... That was what she wanted... That was what she asked for, to save the baby if such a situation occurred... Rajiv had shut down all his senses and dint want to hear what the doctor had to say... He knew what had happened and dint wanna think about it...

He went into the theater as the doctor was speaking to him, but he couldn't listen to one word the doctor was saying... Rajiv walked into the theater like a zombie without emotions, to look at Pooja... He dint want to see this scene ever in his life time, with just a trickle of tears rolling down from his eyes he saw Pooja...

Hey idiot what are you looking at come and look at your princess as Pooja spoke those words, it brought back life into Rajiv... Looking at the child in Pooja's arms looking at aasra he was the most happiest dad in the world... Yes Aasra that would be her name those were Rajiv's words as he hugged pooja and aasra... He was a Dad a PROUD DAD... :)

Mom....

Dear Mom,

People say that good things happen to good people, and truth always prevails… But then we see all this happen only in fairy tales and in movies where the hero bundles up the bad guys…

I have always been nice to people like you had taught me to be… The day I spilt the milk, the day I disrespected uncle you dint punish me but you always taught me what’s right and what’s wrong…

But the mistake that I have made is unforgivable… I don’t think anyone will ever forgive me for what I have done to you… You have always cared for my well being and taken care of me but after my marriage everything changed, you started becoming my burden… What seemed to care at some point became pestering, what was love some day became irritation…

Mom I dint know what I was doing when I put you in that old age home… In spite of the crying and denials I forced you into moving into that hell hole… Please forgive me for that dreadful day… I know now that the reason for all your crying that day was not because you were going to face a bad time there, but the reason was that you were going away from me and you couldn’t live without seeing me…

Mom I dint even lift your calls when you called me to wish me on my birthday… I just walked out of your life… Today I stand alone mom, with no one to hold me… Today when I see you in that lying down motionless... When I hold your hand now I cannot feel that warmth... The chillness is killing me mom... I cannot forgive myself for this Mom… But I know you would forgive me… You dint deserve a son like me mom…

I wish I burn in hell mom… I wish in my next birth I am your mother and you make me go through the same hell that I made you pass through…

I have been a bad son mom… I love you to eternity… Please forgive me…

Your son,

I wish, I pray to GOD I don’t get to see such a day… Please guys don’t ever do this to your parents… I hope old age homes stop to exist…

Dedicated to the best MOM in the world… Love you mom… :)