Monday, October 15, 2012

The Great Indian Hero

Bollywood, Kollywood, Tollywood, Mollywood, Sandalwood and many other woods present in India... The environmentalists and the tree huggers can have a sigh of relief, I am not talking about real trees but the varied Indian film industries from north to the south... Talkies aka Cinemas aka Movies are in our blood and veins...

We are the only country where we worship our actors and idolize them as role models... Pick a school child in random and ask him what he wants to be he would say I wanna be like SRK or any one of those Ridiculous Khans...

Speaking of the Ridiculous Khans, in spite of being varied in the way we make our movies the woods have one special entity in common... One common characteristic that connects all these woods, again the tree huggers can take a sigh of relief we are not gonna cut down trees to connect any woods...

This one common speck of entity connecting the woods is the GREAT INDIAN HERO...

Ohhh Hell yeah we are talking now... Any Indian movie script compulsorily must and I stress MUST have a hero in it... All the Indian script writers have a common template to their movies... This is an excerpt of one such script... :)

Movie always starts off with Hero introduction... Saves someone mostly the heroine or her cousin sister or her uncles friend or her step mothers grand daughter... Irrespective of whom he saves which is irrelevant the hero says I HAVE A PLAN... Next scene he goes in alone and throws people here and there and the introduction is over...

Second part of the movie is where he falls in love with the heroine or vice versa happens... he asks his friends for suggestions tips and tricks to woo the girl but at the end of the day he says I HAVE A PLAN... Next scene he goes alone and woos the girl with all the charm in the world and the girl falls like SUPERMAN to a stone of kryptonite..

Third and usually the final part where the super villain grabs the heroine and has the entire world as hostage at some super secret location which is reachable by an hrs drive from the hero's house... Again the Hero says I HAVE A PLAN... well for the umpteenth time the next scene he goes out alone without caring for his own life with unlimited ammo in one cartridge of a clay made AK-47 that looks like a tommy gun with roll caps... Well as for always the GREAT INDIAN HERO saves the day and rescues everyone from the baddies...

And we all lived happily every after... :)

Until then signing off with the GREAT INDIAN HERO who keeps the streets of India safe from baddies... :)

Cheers till next time... :)

Friday, October 12, 2012

Ten things I hate about you: The Mindless Driver

Top ten things I hate about Mindless car drivers..... :)
  1. I hate the way you drive slow on the fast lane... and the way you cut lanes....
  2. Hate the way you jump signals...
  3. I hate it when you honk...
  4. I hate your large dumb high beams...
  5. I hate your attitude so much that it makes me puke...
  6. I hate it when you make a mistake and hate the way you think you are always right...
  7. Hate it when you park, especially on a curve and think people can fly over you...
  8. Hate it when you don't give me way...
  9. Hate you more when you just put the person behind you in trouble and drive away like nothing happened...
  10. Most of all I hate you for buying a car, when you should have just taken a bus...
Nevertheless I Hate you for hating me the same way I hate you..... :)