The Humping laws... :)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... Do not get deceived or start fantasizing after reading the title, You people must understand that no obscenity will be entertained on this blog in any form... So without much further ado what am I here to write about...

Well from ages of research and investigation here are my findings about how, why and where do the BBMP(Bruhat Bengaluru Mahanagara palike) guys put humps and make their roads... Before we go into the details of the study I would like to describe what is a hump and different kinds of humps that can be found on the road... Humps are basically designed to slow down and oncoming vehicle...

The word hump is basically derived from hump of a camel since it is shaped similarly... Now other than the traditional humps there are 2 other kinds of humps that can be found on the road one is the Speed cushions and the flat top humps... I call them the speed cushions THE RATTLERS and i call the the flat top humps THE FLIERS... So enough of this gyan lets go to the main gyan at hand...

So following are the rules they follow to make those dreadful HUMPS,

Whenever the contractor fights with his wife he adds a HUMP... The number of HUMPS are directly proportional to the intensity of the fight and the type of HUMP depends on the Universal Humping constant H...

Every other time the contractor sees a Software engineer on the road the contractor lays down a HUMP in his memory, Therefore the number of HUMPS is actually equal to the number of software engineers in Bangalore. The point to be noted here is the HUMPS laid for a software engineer is always a FLIER as software engineers always search for a platform to take off from.

The contractor being a big sandalwood fan every time there is a flop movie that comes out he lays down a HUMP in memory of the producer who has gone bust... Hence the number of HUMPS is directly proportional to the number of dead, suicidal, bust producers of Kannada movies.

So that concludes my HUMPING laws.... Happy and Safe HUMPING... :D

Mid Summer Dreams (Part 2) : The TEST

Very few people make a huge impact in our lives... Only one or two of them are worth remembering however painful remembering them is... Reena was her name the fresh software tester right out of college... Raghu woke up with a hangover like headache with just one thing ringing in his mind Reena... Rekha was trying to tell him the chores he had to do today and all he could hear was a blunt ring... When she was done he just nodded in agreement as she left him and Arjun for a Dad and sons day out together... It was a gloomy summer day after the rain the previous day and he thought to himself GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE...

He got up from him is bed and with the most strategically implemented plans efficiently managed to tidy up everything and finished the chores he could remember from the rambles earlier in the morning... When he was done it was time for breakfast and Arjun got his dads specialty breakfast cereal with cold milk... When arjun asked his dad "papa why cant I get something hot for breakfast" all he would get in a reply would be "ohh beta shall I pop it in the microwave for sometime" he was old enough to know this answer so arjun being the bigger man refrained from popping the question to his lovely dad...

Still in Raghu's thoughts was Reena he wanted to finish breakfast quickly and get to do some reading on the laptop... Arjun called it lappy toppy and was angry by the fact that it spent more time on his dads lap than him and considered it his worst enemy... Raghu took Arjun to their living room and gave him arjuns toys to play around as he could have all the time reading what he had to read... June 9th that was the day he had pinged her first it all started off as a dream which bloomed into a blossoming tulip flower... He made her laugh like never before, sang for her in his hoarse bathroom singing voice the rush of emotions were overwhelming by the time Raghu was done reading the final chat he had tear drops running down his cheeks without his knowledge...

It was all a passing cloud for Raghu as he was flying to the USA for a project and Reena had to get married... Both were stuck at a juncture where they had to make a choice between love and life and both chose the latter... Raghu flew away and Reena got married after he came back everything had changed and he had nothing but getting a move on in life... That was it the last chat of byee forever "I hope we don't see each other again" simple words that tore apart his every belief he had of love... Does it even exist he thought and the corner of his eye caught Arjun lying weeping and drenched in his own tears... The first thing that came to his mind was did he swallow something or did something wrong...

Raghu (in a loud voice) : What did you do????

Arjun who was lying down till now felt the fright of his life and didnt know what to answer and was cowering at his dads mighty voice... Still loud Raghu said "why dont u tell me what happened why are u crying like a wimp" with an angrier voice... He tried to talk with all his might but his lips could only spurt out a lone whimper while he got a tight slap on his back which made him burst out into a full blown fit of weeping... Raghu never hit his kid before but he was doing it despite his instinct and another blow went out on the poor kids back ordering him to stop crying...

While the next blow was going out Raghu managed to look at his face in the mirror and it looked nothing like him with all the wrath and anger and disgust... It was like he had turned into a monster and himself for doing it... Was god testing him he thought or punishing him for what he did as he embraced arjun and consoled him and apologized for what happened he made him sit on his lap and consoled him to stop crying and asked him...

Raghu: Beta tell papa what happened... why were u crying??
Arjun: Papa I saw you crying... the lappy toppy was making you cry and I couldnt do anything...

Raghu detested himself for what had happened and promised Arjun that thing will never make me cry again beta... He saw his family photo as this was happening so many things had happened and this was certainly a test, a test of his integrity, a test of his willingness to let go, a test of actual love... With a grim smile Raghu selected all the chats and hit DELETE...

Frozen in time.....

Dads watch which I am using now... Time passes by leaving behind memories... :)

Mid summer dreams (PART 1) : Evolution

Some stories are meant to be told, some stories are meant to be read but some stories come up from memories, they are ones that are unsaid and untold and remain a secret and are the best ones that anyone could have... Each day goes by without even thinking of things that once remained at the top of the list until one fine day the dust clears up giving you nostalgia and the only thing that would be left with you would be the memories and a single tear drop..... The thought in your mind would be what could you have done differently for things to have been better than what it is now and your brain would signal back blank messages and you would be awe struck by the reality and it hurts... It hurts the maximum when you hit the ground with all the might gravity could ever offer..............

One busy rainy summer afternoon in Bangalore, All Raghu could do was to just sit there in his cubicle, read his old chats and stare out of his window at the rain.... Thinking why does google even save his chats, why did he have to open his old chats to search for some link his friend sent him the previous day all these questions all these questions of why, who, when and how kept ringing as his Manager kept calling out for him....

Manager: Raghu man we need you here there is a damn production defect....
Raghu: still reeling out from the euphoria turned swiftly wiping the only drop of tear and got into his work...

Things were not the same for Raghu as they were now..... After fixing the defect he got up from his seat and went to his Managers cubicle but on his way his eyes as they were trained to do so all the time glanced upon an empty cubicle.... Emptiness is all that he had left in him.... He had friends he had money he had a good life but then the glance at the empty cubicle made his gut feel sick of emptiness and churn out the bile into his stomach...

As soon as he was done with work with great difficulty he managed to get back into his chats which lasted a mile long.... Dont know why but he had a smile a mile long as he shut down his workstation and headed back home with a thought that he had some huge amount of reading to do.... Fiddling through the traffic he could reach home just in time to catch his son Arjun go to sleep.... He had hardly spent time with his family with the amount of work he was doing his beautiful wife Rekha was astonished to see Raghu actually coming early from office that evening.... As they went to bed Raghu promised her he would take care of Arjun the next day and would spend all the time with family at home as Rekha had some shopping to do....

After turning from one side to another the insomnia kept him awake.... So he decided to do something rather than lie down and think... He quickly powered up his laptop and logged into google and started looking at his chats right to the beginning.... The beginning of time it could be called the 9th of June 2010... The date of EVOLUTION.... He just saw the date as Rekha woke up with light from the laptop she got up complaining you cant stay away from that thing and snatched his laptop away and stashed it away.... Raghu then reluctantly went back to bed and lying down thinking of the day that changed his life and went into his emptiness then into a deep sleep........

Illuminated...

A temple near office... Had my camera while riding back home and had to click this... :)

Vantage Point (PART 3) : THE LADY

War had changed her life, at every phase of life when she was just about to stand up and walk straight war would change it all. First it was her Father who was sacrificed in the name of war, then her brother and then her husband. Now it was just her and her 2 little kids. It couldn't have been more worse for Zainab as she was walking to the market to buy some provision. She had left her two kids playing on their own in her old beat down house.

It was starting to get dark as she walked to the market. The whole village was sorta disturbed after the banished ones arrived. All of them knew that war was coming and would get back to their houses before it got dark and would stay out of sight to save their own lives. That dreadful day Zainab dint have any provisions left in her house to feed her kids and herself and wanted to buy something to make some dinner for themselves. She wanted to just rush to the market and buy the stuff and get back as soon as possible.

But as she was just nearing the market disaster struck, she heard similar noises of some bees whizzing past after banging noises and then a huge blast.. It was war again, she could hear bullets flying past her as an instinct she just ran into the nearest shop for cover without being aware of her surroundings. All Zainab could see were the cover of the shop as she ran blindly towards it she dint see the militant who was running towards her and almost bumped into him. He was one of the banished ones who came into their village and took everything. No one ever questioned them as they knew what would happen if they did.

As far as Zainab was concerned she wanted nothing more than the safety of herself and her kids. She was the only one the kids had and all she wanted was to`get back home in one piece to her kids. These were her thoughts as she regained her composure from the bump in she rose to see the Jawans eyes as he was running to get the militant. And then did she realize he was taking aim past her towards the militant who was about to throw a grenade towards them.

All this happened in a fraction of a second, as she ran into the market for cover she heard a gun shot whiz behind her and a second later as she ran through the rear door of the shop BIG LOUD blast hurled her forward as she hit the ground with a big thud and all kinds of shreds fell over her carcass. She thought she was dead as all she could see was bright light and could hear nothing but a buzzing sound that deafened her ears.

Then came the pain which was worse than being dead, she had bruises all over the place from the fall and some burns from the blast. The pain was so much so that she could not move her body an inch and felt like each and every bone in the body was broken to a million pieces. As she managed to turn over and looked into the sky she saw black smoke rising and it felt like she was entering one hell from another.

All she could think of were her kids who would be waiting for her mother to come back to them and would be scared and orphaned if she dint. She was struggling to keep herself awake but the eye lids got heavy on her. The only words that came out of her mouth were,

"Forgive me. God please forgive me."

Vantage Point (PART 2) : THE MILITANT

Jihad that was the name we were taught and bred with. We would die for it and martyr our lives for jihad. That was what we were taught and forced to do otherwise they would kill our children and our family. He had to do this otherwise they would kill his family. These were the thoughts running wildly in Ajmal's mind as he was pointing his rickety old AK 47.

He was a farmer living a silent peaceful with his family. He could still remember the dreadful day when they came and took him away and threatened to murder his family if he dint agree to go with them. It was 5 yrs since that happened. Now he was a killing machine with no remorse or mercy. He was bound by no laws of any country the only law he knew was to kill the person he was pointing his gun towards.

Ajmal and 4 others had set out towards this village a month ago on foot with minimal food and shelter. They were supposed to set up shelter in a village that was at a strategic point. Once they set up a base he had to call command centre and more of his martyr brothers would join them there for the war of Independence. It was a dreadful and gruelling journey to the village off the 5 only 3 could make it to the village. Two of his martyr brothers were sacrificed to the treacherous mountains of the Himalayas.

But they had somehow managed to reach the village and contact their command centre when they saw the indian army men walking towards the village. Ajmal was the first to spot them and he alerted the rest of them. Ajmal was thinking it was not supposed to work this way. How did they manage to know that they were here. But nevertheless he knew what had to be done. Their survival depended on the death of 5 army jawans then so be it. So they took point at 3 places and opened fire. With the old guns they had half of the bullets went awry but one bullet from ajmal's gun killed a jawan. But the training of the Jawans and their fire power was much superior to theirs and he helplessly watched the other 2 martyrs getting killed.

Ajmal had to run it was all over nothing could be done now, he was the only survivor at least till now. If he dint leave then he would also have to take his last breathe. So he made a run for it, initially after a 100 metre sprint he thought he was alone but then when he turned to confirm he could see the silhouette of an army officer chanrging towards him with vengeance and speed. He was so captivated with the officer that he almost bumped into this on coming lady who was frightened by the bullets that were flying all around the place. He had to stop that officer, he reached down his fur coat and took out a hand grenade removed the pin and was about to throw it.....

Bannggggg....

He dint know what hit him, it was a flash of light for a fraction of a second, the grenade went astray into the nearby market. That was followed by intense pain and a feeling of failure. Not because he failed his mission, but the failure of letting down his family. His family would be ravaged and murdered now, because he dint succeed. He had let them down, he had failed his promise, he could do nothing. All he saw was the officer who had shot him down looking down upon on his dying body. Taking his last breathe all he could only blurt out was,

"Forgive me. God please forgive me."